To thine own self be true...

...but, who are you?

My upbringing taught me to be hyperconscious of what other people thought about me. The main reason I did not drink alcohol as a teenager was not the fear of God, but for fear of what others would think. Fear of what others will think is ironically why most teens in America start drinking alcohol. I was more concerned with impressing my parents, church friends and older people that I respected, because I wanted to be respected -- obeying the rules earned me respect. Most teens want respect or recognition and some find it in their friends -- for some disobedience and rebellion earns them the respect or recognition they desire.

As I have gotten older I have grown to care less and less what others think of me. I wish that I could say that I don't care at all, but if that were true I would not publish a blog. I don't even try as hard to give a good impression to the people that I love dearly.

If we truly love others we must be willing to love them as they are. The good, the bad and the ugly are all a part of who we truly are.

We are all in the same boat really. We start life with great expectations and being told to dream big. We grow up and life happens. We get older and panic because we have not achieved our dreams. For some truly blessed, they come to realize that their dreams were all together vanity.

I suppose my favorite dialogue in my favorite movie comes from a scene in Glory. A young private has just participated in his first battle against pure evil. He has dreamed of the day that he could take vengeance on his enemy and bring justice to earth. He has killed for the first time and come to realize that he is now guilty of all that has been done against him and more. Col. Shaw says to the young black soldier, "Stinks I suppose?" The soldier replies, "Yeah it stinks. Stinks bad, and we all covered up in it. Ain't a one of us clean." The end of the conversation brings the conviction that we must simply, "ante up and kick in (do our duty)."

I am in the process of trying to build a house, LORD willing. There are as many opinions on the matter as I have friends and family. I know men in Ethiopia who live content lives in huts. I know men in Ethiopia who live very discontent lives in huts. There is no intrinsic virtue in poverty. I know men who live content lives in large American homes. I know men who live very discontent lives in large American homes. There is no intrinsic evil in wealth.

The common thread of the content men that I know is not their possessions or lack thereof. Their common ground is Christ alone and that they know who they are in Him. The common thread I see in the discontent is a lack of depth and a constant yearning to be or have more.

"In the last resort what matters is not what the man does, but only his faith in Jesus as the Son of God and Mediator. At all events poverty or riches, marriage or celibacy, a profession or the lack of it, have in the last resort nothing to do with it -- everything depends on faith alone." -- Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Everything outside of faith is sin. In the end we must fear God and know that we will give account to Him alone. We must know Christ and walk alone in the community of faith. By faith we can be who we are, and only by faith can we be who we will be.