That is a good Irish name but, you're not Irish.

Some years ago I was on a flight from England to Germany. Many of my fellow passengers were Irish students on holiday. I struck up a conversation with the lads' teacher and shared with her my love of all things Irish. As a matter of fact I have a good Irish name, "Patrick Shae Beard". With a wonderfully thick Irish accent her reply came, "Aye, that is a good Irish name, but you're not Irish then, are you."

On the return trip home I passed through Heathrow not long after the IRA had bombed some place in London. The security agent looked over my passport and asked me to follow him. "Is there a problem officer?" "Just need to do a bit of checking, mate. Where are you from originally?" "Mississippi." "So, you were born in America?" "Yes." "Any family from Ireland?" "No, well my great, great grandfather. Why?" "Well, you see you have this Irish name, and we have had a bit of trouble recently from the Irish..." It was my first experience at racial profiling.

I'm a true American mutt with as much French blood as Irish or English. To the Irish, I'm not Irish at all. To the English, I'm a bit too Irish. Oh, well -- Viva America!