Thank God for seizures

I can honestly say that God has made me thankful for most everything, even cerebral palsy. If Lauren had not been born with CP I would not be living in Jackson, TN and I most likely would not be doing what I do now with Indigenous Outreach (www.ioiusa.org). But, I haven't ever really been thankful for the seizures. They have stolen what few abilities she had.

A few years ago my oldest daughter and I were by Lauren's side as she had a series of seizures. "Please God make them stop at 50."

"Oh LORD, stop them at 60."

"70!"

"Please Jesus - 80? No more, please!"

"90???"

"One hundred. Please God stop them at 100."

She had 101 seizures and then fell deep asleep. My oldest daughter looked at me with tears in her eyes and asked, "Daddy, why is God mad at us?"

"He isn't honey. And I know this does not make sense, but He is doing good to us."

"Well, it does not feel good."

It didn't feel good. It felt horrible. I felt like a fool that night, but what else could I do? So helpless. So incapable of conjuring religious zeal. Yet my faith compelled me to make statements that I cannot prove.

A few months ago I complained to my wife that I hated the seizures and the helpless feeling that we have as Lauren suffers through them. "God has made me thankful for everything, except seizures."

We got a card from one of Lauren's therapist. She and her husband have been attending our small church for a few months now. They were looking for a church home one providential day as Lauren had a series of seizures at therapy. "...I thank God for the seizures Lauren had that day, because it gave us the opportunity to talk about your church." This dear family has found a home with our quirky little congregation of believers.

God was so kind to us. He did not have to make me thankful for seizures, He could have allowed me to stay mad - to stay in unbelief. But God is so loving and kind that He gave us a glimpse of His goodness even in the seizures.

I still don't like them, but thank God for the seizures.