I read on article last night that disturbed me greatly. The article was about a book called "TORN: Rescuing the Gospel from the Gays-vs.-Christians Debate". The premise of the book is that you can be both a practicing homosexual and a practicing Christian. In fact the article did help me to understand the exegetical position that seems to reconcile the lifestyles by focusing on Jesus' teaching about love over the commands for sexual purity.
The author of the book goes into detail about how he realized he born gay. He was at a Christian concert with a date (female) and he began to be "attracted" to a male he saw there. He had been battling homosexual tendencies - even trying to date girls. However, that one event seemed to solidify in his mind that he was indeed gay, and he began a journey to reconcile his Christianity with the desire to have sex with a man. He goes on in the book to basically dismantle Scriptural teaching about homosexuality by focusing on "committed loving relationship".
I never cease to be amazed at how people can take a clear teaching from the Bible and proclaim the very opposite using the Bible. Jehovah's Witnesses, for example, "prove" that Jesus is not God using the very Bible that proclaims Christ's deity. They simply avoid the many references to Jesus being equal with God and focus on a few verses that seem to back their proposition. In this case the author of the book takes Romans 1 and "proves" his case that what God desires is committed loving relationships - gay or straight. So clearly deception, and so clearly he has become one of the ones mentioned in Romans 1:32.
If you do not believe Jesus is God why would you call yourself a Christian? If you continue to have gay sex why do you still want to call yourself a committed Christian?
If we took the example of other sexual perversion and applied the same standards we could justify adultery, bestiality and pedophilia. It is absurd.
My experience in Ethiopia has taught me alot about male relationships. Homosexuality can be found in Ethiopia no doubt. However, men are free to express physical affection toward each other without it being sexual. From a very early age boys walk hand in hand and sit with their arms around each other. We see this same behavior in very masculine situations such as the American football field, but only the most depraved would imply sexual connotations to these situations.
In the West we are assailed with sexual imagery from birth, and even products such as bacon are sold with "sex appeal". No wonder our thoughts about perversion and immorality are askew.
At an early age I felt attraction to certain men. I was drawn to men who were godly in their behavior. I was drawn to men who were interested in the things I was interested in. At the same time I was attracted to the opposite sex, but for wholly different reasons. Eventually I was attracted to a godly young lady that was interested in many of the things I was interested in - she became my wife. Many of the men I was attracted to became my mentors. The godly influences won out over those who only sought to take advantage of me.
I believe that men are "naturally" attracted to other men, but it is sin that twist this attraction until it developed into perverted sexual desire. Indeed this is the clear teaching of Romans 1. People who practice sin (which begins in our thought life) were given over to "uncleanness". I don't believe young men are born desiring anal sex, I do believe boys are born with a desire for intimacy and relationships. When this "natural" desire for intimacy is not found in healthy God honoring relationships a counterfeit can be found.
Many young men that I have counseled who are struggling with same sex attraction began their struggle when their father did not give them the love and affection they desired. The same is true for many young women who struggle sexually. Not all who struggle with homosexuality have poor, bad or absent fathers - it just seems to be common. Many of the ones I have counseled also had an older male who paid them attention and then took advantage of them. The desire for a father's love and affection was counterfeited by sexual attention.
Ultimately it is our desire for intimacy with God that is the driving force for many of our relationships in life. If those relationships are lived out in obedience to Scripture and the commands of Christ we will find that they benefit us spiritually. A godly marriage is sacramental and aids us in our relationship with God. A bad marriage can hinder us, and draw our attentions away from God. A good spiritual brother can sharpen me like iron sharpens iron. A bad relationship can draw me away and hinder intimacy with God. Any time we place someone or some desire before God we had become idol worshipers. We fly in the face of God and proclaim that we know what is best and most fulfilling.
Men can also have inordinate relationships of a wholly mental sort. Our desire for intimacy with God can be given over to spiritual masters and gurus. We can begin to follow people or personalities rather than develop intimacy with God. It is easier to follow a great Bible teacher rather than to have an intimate relationship with the God who knows how many hairs I have on my head. Hero worship may be more appealing than intimacy with the God that demands our full allegiance and obedience.
Romans 1 says that men exchanged worship of the Creator for worship and service of the creature. Men served their own bodies and feed their lusts rather than submitting to God's "natural" design and purpose for humanity. We were created for intimacy with God, not simply to serve the desires of our flesh.
How I wish that I could roll back time to those pivotal moments in a young man's life when he first questions, "Am I gay?" Young man - you are not gay if you do not feed those desires and give life to them, but rather put those desires to death! You are not a drunk if you never get drunk! Your are not an adulterer if you will stop lusting after those who are not your own! Young man, what you need is a deep and committed relationship with your Creator!
I am convinced that in many cases the godly attention of an older man could rescue the young questioner from a lifetime of sexual struggle and perversion. Where are the godly older men who will become mentors to those wondering boys? Where are the men who will not take advantage of the young, but rather build them up in godliness? Where are the brothers who will love the young ones by commending them to godliness rather than feeding their flesh desires?
May God help us to truly love him and each other by obeying His Word and being doers of it.
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